I Believe in Things That I Cannot See

I Believe in Things That I Cannot See

I Believe in things that I cannot see

Do you have a vision for your life? I had to honestly ask myself this question and pose it to you. Knowing your purpose offers clear direction for living. To live without a vision is to wander aimlessly i the hopes of arriving at a necessary location without intention. To live aimlessly is exhausting and you waste energy on life performance. You become what, or who others say you are as you adapt to a life where you have no active participation. We can all conform depending on our beliefs, and our focused thoughts will lead us into decisions that will take us wherever we think we are headed.  Are you able to clearly state your vision for your life, and where you are headed? There is evidence to beliefs.  Committed and consistent behaviors will follow beliefs.  So, in honest self-examination we can clearly see if we truly have a vison for our lives that we are truly committed to.

I believe that vision is God given. One of my favorite songs is “I Still Believe” by Crystal Lewis. It is special to me because it offers encouragement to my heart when shifting feelings threaten what I believe.  For me, it is difficult to live without faith and believing in someone and something greater that I.  There is a realization that belief will birth or create that thing you’ve not yet realized, seen with your eyes or experienced in your life. Have you remained consistent and committed to your beliefs, or have your surrendered them when challenges present? You truly have to be committed from the heart ,and with your thoughts to be conscious of your choices. When it comes to the vision you have for your life are you:

1.  clear about who you are and what kind of life you want to live ?

2.  comitting to it inwriting ?

3.  taking the steps to accomplish it ?

There is no magic to it and it does not come effortlessly but it requires awakening. It takes work to get still and quiet enough to hear.  I would like to submit to you for thought that having vision starts with a question, and then an answer which helps you to get clear and become fully alert. We wake out of a passive state and have a conviction that defies logic. We not irrational but sober in your thoughts, and intentional in our actions. What do you really want? Who are you? Can you describe the type of live you want to live? If money was no issue what would you be doing? You’ll find the right question to get to the heart of really matters to you. As you grow into that vision prepare yourself for the shaking and challenges. It will take fortitude. It wil take being in a state of constant readiness to receive, and the commitment to labor for what you have already seen in your heart and mind, but have not yet received.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. Please let me know what resonated with you? Like and share if it has helped in any way:). Take what you need and give from your overflow.

Yonette Belinda

To learn more or get encouragement for your journey:

https://www.facebook.com/YonetteBelinda/

 

Break The Cycles

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I recent learned about the work being done by Jamal & Natasha Miller the founders of MarriedandYoung.com, a site dedicated to helping men and women establish a solid foundation for an unbreakable marriage.  They have dedicated their lives to the grand effort to reduce the divorce rate in America.  They work has been featured in BET, JET Magazine, and they have worked with countless other relationship experts. They are young but have been bestowed with wisdom beyond their years to impact the lives of all ages. It is wonderful to see their commitment and passion to serve others.

Like most of you I have faced personal struggles. I am on a mission to live authentically and use every gift, skill, and talent to offer value to the world. I do so because it is my purpose, and I desire to see others succeed in all areas of life. I would also like to succeed, and help my daughter to live an amazing life. My daughter is my inspiration and she compels me on to better. Last year was a turning point as I moved from being a mom to author, and then entrepreneur.   I have recently joined the 4 day #BreakTheCycle Challenge presented by Jamal & Natasha Miller. The purpose of the challenge is to break every cycle that is attempting to disrupt God’s plan for my life. It is not for everyone but I’m sharing because it just may be a pivotal turning point for someone. The information presented may help someone you know. So please share: http://bit.ly/2GIqWyKTakethechallenge

Day 1 – Break the cycles of toxic relationships

Day 2 – Break the cycles of Identity Crisis

Day 3- Break the Cycles of Poverty, Money Management, and money Worship

Day 4- Break the Cycles of Generational Patterns

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Teaching Safe Emotional & Physical Boundaries

Teaching safe boundaries blog

Teaching Safe Emotional & Physical Boundaries

Stories of assault and abuse seem to dominate our media and community in past months. It is troubling to hear, and I think of ways to educate my daughter about safe boundaries. Now there is physical safety and emotional safety. We for the most part instinctively know what we need to do to ensure physical safety. However, there are unforeseen circumstances that may compromise safety and we are all limited in our human abilities. The other type of safety  to consider is emotional safety. There is a brilliantly written article by the Washington post that I would like to recommend. It is comprehensive and worth the time to read. The article is titled: How (and why) to create emotional safety for our kids. I have provided the link here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2016/03/23/how-and-why-to-create-emotional-safety-for-our-kids/?utm_term=.fb547d2ace40

As a woman, a mom, and a professional my heart breaks to see the damage abuse causes to young lives. So many have spoken, and honestly it is necessary, however painful and difficult to listen. I never want to get to the point where I’m desensitize as it becomes a common occurrence. I encourage you to take the time to educate your young shinning stars on emotional as well as physical safety. Also, as parents we need to see the palaces in our own lives that need to be healed. It took me well into adulthood to consider my own emotional safety and recognize unsecure boundaries.  This quote by Maya Angelou seems very fitting:

See the source image

My mission is to positively affect each life I can touch. To affirm that every person has significant value. I’ve fought some difficult battles to rid myself of labels, and I purpose to influence others to banish them as well. I use my gifts of authorship and poetry in a few ways one of those is my branch in authorship, Y.B. Designs. Y.B. Designs creates messages of positivity and self-love for adults ,and children to combat bullying and banish labels. It is a heart mission of love that I envision will grow, and develop in the years to come. I would like to present one of our designs that we are giving away this month, “No Secrets. Love is wide and Open”. You can enter the giveaway below. You can visit our page to view more selections for young shining stars, that support an on-going conversation of love and safe boundaries.

Y.B.Designs Page. https://www.facebook.com/PrintedLyrics/

Thank you for taking the time to read. I would love to hear your thoughts and what resonated most with you.

purple hoodie

http://www.giveawaytab.com/mob.php?pageid=1308712405900482

-GIVEWAY ENTRY-

 

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Fabulous Fail :Part II

fabalous fail 2

Fabulous Fail :Part II

 

In my last blog post I talked about the Fabulous Fail. You can check it out here: https://digitalbloggers.com/self-improvement/fabalous-fail. It is my perspective about failure offering three gifts that come in ghastly wrapping paper. There were three gifts identified:

1. It gives you a mirror, so you can see who you are.
2. It shows you what you didn’t know about yourself had you not had that specific fail.
3. It will spring board you into an opportunity for deep character development. so, you live from a place of integrity.

I wanted to focus on each gift separately however, in my preparation for writing this blog I found it difficult to separate them.  So, I ‘m going to link them together this week because it just makes sense. I think this is mostly because I’ve  discovered when I had an experience with failure much of what I learned about who I am was often what I didn’t know about myself, and maybe somethings I knew but was not prepared to acknowledge.  When we have an experience with failure we are given a mirror, so we can see who we are. We’ll come face to face with the good, the bad and the unpleasant. This offers a huge opportunity to become our own personal expert. Knowing who you are is a liberating and a refining experience.

I often call those difficult moments in my life the “character building moments”. Those moments when I get to see the mental, emotional, and moral qualities that are distinctive to who I am. I become familiar with my strengths, my weakness, my consistencies, and inconsistencies.  This discovery allows me to get to the root of what really matters to me, and what does not matter. Now if you have ever had a job interview you may have been asked the question. “What are some of your strengths and weaknesses”? It is equally to be acquainted with both strengths and weakness to be a champion in one’s own life.  The competition has always been personal, to refine and perfect those intangible character jewels that make us distinctively individual from another.

When you place a mirror in a room, the lighting in the room will reflect a variation of the  image being reflected. There are details you pick up in one location that you did not in another. Similarly each specific experience with failure will offer different angles to look at self. Not in a judgmental way but if engaged, in active discovery using perspective, and understanding.  How we respond to the experience of failure will also show us the condition of our hearts and the depth of our commitment. The fact that one ca become broken having failed at an attempt gives insight into how much that person cares, and how committed they are to their pursuits. Now there are moments in my life I loathe the mirror. Whether it it’s because I don’t feel well or got into a situation that wasn’t going to offer me the opportunity to see anything beautiful in the moment.  It may take a minute to take the courage necessary to look straight on. Whatever the mirror shows is not meant to introduce you to any feelings of defeat but rather an opportunity to uncover your greatness within. This takes us into Part III. Please stay tuned:).

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. Please like and share if it has helped in any way:). Take what you need and give from your overflow.

Yonette Belinda

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To learn more or get encouragement for your journey:

http://tidyurl.com/DesigningMyDigitalLifeOasisFB

Fabulous Fail

fabalous fail

This past weekend was my daughter’s first dance dress rehearsal at her dance academy. I arrived on time but suddenly struck with a sinking feeling when I noticed other kids who were dressed in full costume. Ok, I’ve messed up. I did not have her dressed in costume. Sure, I can run home and grab it, but would I make it back in time. Would my daughter be all right rehearsing in regular dance attire, or was this a failure that would be replayed for years to come?  Well, I did run home to get the costume, but my efforts were futile because I did not make it back in time.  I must tell you that it hurt terribly to disappoint my child. This is a different kind of hurt altogether. However, in the process of feeling the emotion I had a sobering thought, this is one small moment that will be a memory, and what I give to it will memorialize it for both my daughter, and for myself.  I asked my daughter to forgive me and she did, and went on to enjoy the rest of her day without looking back at the incident. After taking some time for deeper reflection, I realized that there is something fabulous about having failed. It never feels good, and often does not look good. However, failure comes bearing gifts in ghastly wrapping paper. There are three gifts that I’ve identified thus far in my journey:

 

1. It gives you a mirror, so you can see who you are.
2. It shows you what you didn’t know about yourself had you not had that specific fail.
3. It will spring board you into an opportunity for deep character development. so, you live from a place of integrity.

There is a lot I would like to share about each of these and would like to present them individually in small digestible sizes. So, I’m going to be blogging on each in the next three weeks. I’d like you to see clearly as I what’s so fabulous about failing. We can graciously and fearlessly embrace it knowing it’s not this unmentionable thing that happens.  Most of us may have felt the shame and hurt of failure, and want to avoid or hide it. We also fear its label and repeat performance. So, we fold, and withhold ourselves from courageous living.  I can’t help but recall my first blog for the year that talked about going past feeling.

You can access it here: https://digitalbloggers.com/self-improvement/going-past-feeling-to-being.  It’s human to loathe uncomfortable feelings. Taking hold of them takes discipline and intentional, purposeful action. The story I shared was light compared to someone’s else’s experience with failure. It is certainly not a case of mind over matter. Sometimes it requires love, family, faith, and some prayer to take courage again. One thing is certain, you are not a failure if you’ve failed at anything, and you were not issued a life sentence of mental torment. You were bestowed some unpleasantly wrapped gifts, and there is priceless value added to you, and the experience you’ve been through. What’s so fabulous about failing? Stay tuned.

Yonette Belinda

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Is it Too Late?

Blue Wood

I’ve asked myself this question before, “is it too late?”. Often it is because I am comparing my progress with the accomplishments of others. I’m sure you can relate. We can lose track of where we are, and how far we’ve come because we’re looking in the wrong direction. At the core of the question “Is it too late” is the questioning of our own unique greatness. We each have a unique journey to take and it is a marathon, and not a sprint. Therefore, the focus is on endurance, perseverance, and steps of active faith as we make our way through. It is not on how fast we can get to a destination or a mark. Looking at what someone else was able to accomplish may cause you to wonder if what you possess is truly worthy of being called great. If you’ve thought that for a moment, it is likely that you have not yet seen the full manifestation of your greatness. You wait for affirmation, applause, and acknowledgement to step out with confidence and do what you know you can, and desire to do. This uncertain wait becomes a place of stagnation that slowly drains you of the vibrant, and purposeful life you are called to live.
When you’re asking if it is too late you are contemplating pulling back from acting. The truth is that many feel stuck because somewhere along their journey they gave up on their dream, and divine purpose, and opted for a life of invisibility and conformity. When we pull back we are choosing not to be seen and to actively participate in our own lives. If you feel invisible it is time for self-examination, and the personal acknowledgement of the areas you neglected to nurture. It is also time to acknowledge the gift that you are. What you have in you cannot, and should not be compared to another besides you. There are many wonders in the world and it is impossible to rank them in order of greatness. If you believe in God, and divine purpose as I do, you must know that his expression of greatness is infinite, and it encompasses you. I believe that greatness cannot be pursued. However, it can be released as we push forth in daily pursuit of our own unique purpose. You don’t need to do another thing, or win any accolades to be called great. Take the time to know all that is in you, and to celebrate it. No one will see you if you don’t see yourself. Take action in your life at any age, stage or place you find yourself and enjoy the journey. When the question surfaces again “Is it too late?”, remember that you are called to be a champion in your own life.

Yonette Belinda

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Moving Past Feeling To Being

Brave

Feelings are fickle and unpredictable. Sometimes they just can’t be trusted.  So, you may need to push past what you feel in one moment and rely on what you know.  What you know may be intellectual or it could be instinctual. What you know has the power to subdue the feelings that range against your confidence in your knowing. Contradictory feelings will oppose what we know when we begin to doubt that we can trust what we know. One feeling that I’ve had to struggle with for many years is fear.  It has held me back from leaving situations I needed to escape, and from embracing opportunities that I should embrace. Overall, I feared being judged, and reduced to a box of labels. So, I allowed myself to deny what I knew about myself and allowed feeling to disrupt my confidence in knowing that I was capable of deciding and taking action on all that pertained to me. If you have ever been though a situation that wounded, or nearly destroyed you it is likely that you may tread lightly, and often chose dwell in the valley of decision. It may be likely that someone had a front seat to your experience and overtly have disqualified you as being capable of knowing. What is even more destructive is believing that someone else would be allowed to be an expert in your life.

The only person who knows more than you about you is one who is all divine.
I truly believe that what we know instinctively about ourselves is divine. You may not believe in God as I do. However, my conviction is that he writes upon each heart its’ divine purpose, vision and dreams. It is often difficult to express in mere words what is written on the heart. That’s why it is difficult for another to embrace your vision and dreams or see all that you are. To live a life of conviction and be true to what you know, it will often take courage to go pass feeling to being.  You will need to be who you truly are at the heart without hesitation, and beyond another’s expectation. Don’t hold back when what is written on your heart is established, and it waits to be birthed through you stepping out confidently. Embrace the courage to move past feelings to being who you are destined to be.

Yonette Belinda

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The Music In Our Lives

Music

I fell in love with music and singing when attending the Ave Maria Girls Primary school in Castries St. Lucia. Music was incorporated into our regular schedule and it offered an opportunity for us to let our personalities shine. It was my favorite time for sure. I remembered pestering my parents to attend Sunday masses just to have the opportunity to participate in the singing at church. As I got a bit older, and we attended a full gospel church that allowed solo requests I would often ask my pastor for the opportunity to sing. It was there I learned to perfect those songs I learned in school.

Looking back, it was not so much about how I sound but rather what happened to my spirit as I sang. There was something uplifting about it. It was an unnamed something wonderful that took place, and I wanted to experience it repeatedly. It’s no surprise that I joined girls’ chorale and concert choir in high school.  When I saw that there were auditions for The Sound of Music musical all shyness dissipated and I was in line for my part in the musical. I got the role of sister Bertha and it was amazing!

My 5-year-old daughter Hannah loves music and singing just as much as I did. I’m not sure if it is just innate in her personality, or if it was an inspired thing. You see, I’m always singing and making up songs about anything. Our best times together is when we get YouTube on the television in her play room and play some songs as we dance, and have our fill with laughter. I have concluded that the music in our lives is simply wonderful and has added life to our days. You may not love music as much as we do but it’s undeniable that there are some good benefits to adding music in your life. It would serve you well to do so on a regular basis.

Here are 5 benefits I have identified 

  1. It changes the atmosphere and improves mood
  2. Stimulates creativity
  3. Helps with learning and memory. (I’ve made up songs about how to spell words etc.)
  4. Improves Confidence.
  5. Foster the ability to express and to identify feelings

In whatever way you choose and whatever genre you choose, let there be room in your heart and life for music. Regardless of how you sound have the courage to sing and play on:)

Celebrating Every Girl

I Love Me Cover-page-0

A s a mom of a little girl I wanted to write a book that would help to grow self-esteem and self-love in girls. This was a labor of love, and message to every girl that she is a life worthy of a lifetime of celebration. She is more than the sum of her physical characteristics. What she possesses within her is significant and necessary. She is not to be denied, but rather revealed and seen. 

October is Bullying Awareness Month

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Stand Together

I had experienced bullying in my junior and senior high school years, and wanted to bring to your attention that October is National Bullying Prevention Month. The effects of bullying are damaging and far reaching causing hurt to individuals and families. Also, many lives are lost as a result. Talking about bullying is an important and necessary conversation.  You can find a step by step guide on how to talk to your child about bullying at https://www.stopbullying.gov

Also, I’d like to highlight the work of “The Kind Campaign” which is an organization that brings awareness and healing to the negative and lasting effects of girl against girl bulling. There are other organizations that campaign against bullying. The Kind Campaign caught my attention because I am a mom of a little girl. I hope to get more involved in supporting their efforts in the coming year and hope you would  join me. You can find out more about them and how you can get involved at https://www.kindcampaign.com.